This past April, Jade Tree Records’ THE LOVED ONES hit the road with THE EXPLOSION for nearly a month of tour dates, and LOVED ONES’ bassist, Michael Cotterman, was kind enough to keep a tour journal of the voyage and pass it along to Pastepunk for publication. Check it out. CAST OF CHARACTERS: Dave, Loved Ones singer and guitar player Mike, Loved Ones drummer Wilkie, Loved Ones tour manager and merch guy extraordinaire Damien, Explosion bassist Nicholas, Explosion tour manager McDermott, Bouncing Souls drummer Kate, Bouncing Souls manager 4/20, Sparkhill, NY., St. Thomas Aquinas College College shows are weird. Usually, it works like this: One or two kids from the college radio station who like our band arrange for us to play the school. Because the money for the show comes from student activities fees as opposed to door money, we get paid a lot more than we usually would. Not to mention the great hospitality (lots of free good food). All this is very good and we appreciate it. Unfortunately, those two kids from the radio station are usually the only people who want to see us. Last month we played a college cafeteria to about 30 people who probably would have been happier if we let them eat their tater tots in peace. A comedian opened for us at the Sparkhill show, but we should have opened for him. Out of the 60 people who showed up, only a dozen stayed for our set. Most of them had driven from NYC to see us (thanks!) Later we heard the dean of the school watched us and said we are the best band that ever played there. Thanks, dean. As a side note, I would like to comment on the trend of dry (alcohol prohibited) campuses. It seems odd to me. Maybe because my college was more like “Animal House.” In my dorm, the RA was one of the biggest weed dealers on campus, the guys next door were making pornos in their room, and there was a bookie taking bets at the end of the hall. Drinking was small potatoes. I guess some schools are a bit more uptight. 4/21, Long Island, the Downtown This show kicks off a week with the Bouncing Souls, Explosion and Let It Burn. Good to see those bands again. Everyone had a great show. This afternoon, I found a leather jacket in a thrift store. Good thing I bought it, because it’s freezing cold tonight and I forgot to bring a coat. Just when I thought winter was over. 4/22, Providence, The Living Room We really went off tonight. I think we were all pissed for one reason or another. Sometimes those are the best shows. Later, we were all very drunk and load out was confusing. Dave and Wilkie are also working for the Souls, so that puts a strain on things. Mike and I need to do most of the work this week. Plus, I bought a bass cabinet from the Explosion. The heavy road case is hard to handle, and it fell over in the middle of the street when I tried to push it to the van. And someone threw a beer at Mike, which didn’t make things easier. After the show, everyone went to a dance night called, appropriately, “Hell.” The bar closed, everyone got kicked out, and a fight almost started outside. Then a horse cop cleared the street by nearly trampling the crowd. The Explosion’s merch guy, Ross (who is British), said “I love America, you walk out of a bar and could get run over by a horse.” A quick mention of our sleeping arrangements: we usually are lucky enough to crash on the floor of the Souls’ or the Explosion’s hotel rooms, but sometimes we sleep in the van. Tonight it’s the van. It’s raining and the van leaks. 4/23, Hamden, Ct., Quinnipac University College shows are weird. See entry for 4/20. One thing worth mentioning is that we traded drummers with the Souls. McDermott sat in with us on “Jane,” and Sneeri sat in with them on “Gone.” 4/24, Philadelphia, First Unitarian Church Philly always makes me nervous, but I think it was one of the best shows I ever played. The next day, I heard the general consensus on various “shittalk.com” type websites is that we were “drunk but good.” Why do we always hear this? I wasn’t even drunk. 4/25, State College, Pa., the Crowbar My bass amp died in soundcheck. It actually started smoking. Tour wouldn’t be tour without equipment problems. Nicholas took the amp apart and figured out the problem; $5 switch I can buy at a hardware store. Now I have a mission for tomorrow. 4/26, Buffalo, Mohawk Place I almost got jumped walking to the hardware store. There’s a reason this town is called Tuffalo. This is the first night without the Souls. The bill is us, Throw Rag and the Explosion. 4/27, Pittsburgh, Mr. Roboto Project Roboto is cool, but I really wish they had a sink in the bathroom for people to wash their hands. Everyone on tour came down with a nasty cold the next day. 4/28, day off I rode to NYC with the Explosion. They have a show at Irving Plaza with the New York Dolls. The Dolls were fantastic. David Johanssen still has his voice, and the band is great. I stood at the side of the stage the whole time and almost lost my voice singing along. Fortunately, no one hollered for Buster Poindexter’s “Hot Hot Hot.” After the show, someone was telling me it’s sad that most of the original Dolls are dead. A guy standing next to us with a camera said “hey, life goes on.” It was Bob Gruen. I told him I admire his work. And the Explosion was really great tonight. 4/29, Albany, Saratoga Winners We rejoined the Souls in upstate New York. This place has a Patrick Swayze “Road House” vibe. The show was good even though I ate about two pounds of manicotti for dinner and felt like I couldn’t stand up. A quick mention of the music I’ve been listening to on tour. Everyone has an iPod, but I’m kicking it old school. I bought a cassette walkman from a dollar store for ten bucks and dug through my closet for some tapes. So I’ve been rocking some Minutemen, Bad Brains, Blondie, Weezer and Green Day, to nane a few. I found an REM tape for 99 cents in a bargain bin. And Damien made me a tape of the Sonics. The only trouble with the Walkman is that whenever someone’s cell phone rings I hear a weird electronic buzz in the headphones. 4/30, Asbury Park, Asbury Lanes We played a “secret” show with the Ratchets and the Souls at the Asbury Lanes bowling alley. I was looking forward to it for months. Unfortunately, I had too much to drink too early. The show was wild, I fell down twice and broke a cord. I was disappointed, but people seemed to like it. I guess this is why people say the Loved Ones are “drunk but good.” 5/1, Asbury Park, Bamboozle fest Our Bamboozle show was at 2:15 pm at the Wonder Bar, a little place across the street from the main Convention Hall, where the big groups played. I didn’t think many people would be there, but the place was full. We were psyched and had a great show. Later I saw the Explosion, Alkaline Trio and the Souls, who invited Max Weinberg to sit in on a cover of “Growing Up.” I was feeling a lot of Jersey pride (born in Freehold, baby. The Boss is the soundtrack for lots of childhood memories). The night ended with a big barbecue at Kate’s. It was the best food of the entire tour. Stayed up talking until 3 a.m. 5/2, Richmond, Alley Katz Thanks to all the kids who sang along and made the show what it was. I’ve been fighting a bad cold for days, and I think it’s winning. 5/3, Chapel Hill, Cat’s Cradle A good night, even though Dave’s guitar cord just wouldn’t stay plugged in. We also played an acoustic in-store and got treated to pizza and beer. Thanks, CD Alley. 5/4, Atlanta, Hell Two good things: the club has a washer and dryer they let the bands use. Clean clothes are always a treat on tour. And they cooked food for us, which is more than most places will do. But all things considered, I wish we had played Athens. 5/5, day off We were supposed to play Indianapolis, but the show got canceled. We saw the Enron documentary instead. It’s pretty depressing that people like that run the world. My cold became a full on fever. Too much staying up late, not enough rest. I went to sleep in the back of the van and slept for about 20 hours. I woke up the next day and the fever was gone. It’s amazing what 20 hours of sleep can do. 5/6, Chicago, Bottom Lounge I bought some new shoes today. One thing I forgot about tour is that the shoes you wear on stage shouldn’t be your only pair of shoes. Especially if those shoes are Chuck Taylors. The smell was awful. We also played a in-store at the Virgin Megastore. It was strange, but I think we won over a few tourists and people on their lunch break. 5/7, Detroit, Bottom Lounge My bass broke. The nut at the top of the neck cracked while I was changing the strings. I think the repair is expensive, assuming I can even find a guitar shop to fix it on tour. I borrowed a bass from Damien for the show. This couldn’t have happened at a worse time. Today, Wilkie crunched some numbers and told me we won’t have any money when we get home. We need to save everything we make to get to California in June for the Tsunami Bomb tour. 5/8, London, On., Call the Office I love Canada. I made a decision to have fun no matter what and not be depressed about going broke. We played another acoustic in-store. Too bad Dave broke a string after the first song. We didn’t remember to bring extra acoustic guitar strings, so we had shut it down. It was the shortest Loved Ones set ever. Sorry, London. We owe you one. Call the Office is a cool venue that Kid Dynamite played 6 years ago. Nice to be back. 5/9, Toronto, Kathedral This is one of my favorite cities. I can see myself moving here if the US get too scary. When Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes President, this is where you’ll find me. I got my bass fixed for free by a Kid Dynamite fan at a shop called Steve’s music. All he would accept as payment was a carton of chocolate milk. I think it was the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me on tour. Except for the time my bass was stolen in Florida, and four kids chased the thief and got it back. Later we stayed with Dave’s friend Alex, who lives on the same street as Prince and has a swimming pool. Merci, Alex! 5/10, Ottowa, Club Saw The Explosion have the day off, so we played our own show at a cool art gallery space with a good local group called the Love Machine. It was one of the best shows of tour. Our friend Shawn Scallen set it and let us crash at his place after the show. He even made us banana pancakes in the morning. Thanks, homie! 5/11, Montreal, El Salon Decent show. We played a very short set, which I always like. I tried to learn some French for ordering food and whatnot. As Wilkie says, a little “merci” goes a long way. 5/12 Portland, Me. The show got canceled. The venue was trashed a few days ago and got shut down. Everyone went to a floating lobster restaraunt except me and Wilkie. We had sushi instead, then met everyone on the boat for drinks. Those guys had gorged themselves on lobster and clams. Someone who will remain unnamed literally shit his pants. 5/13, Boston, Middle East A big crowd in the Explosion’s hometown. It was a rough show for us. For some reason we weren’t running on all cylinders tonight. 5/14, NYC, Knitting Factory Tonight was the best show of the tour. I’m happy we ended on such a high note. Thanks to everyone who sang along for making it so much fun. Later we went to a bar where Velvet Revolver was supposedly playing a secret show. Instead, an awful nu-metal band was playing. I found out the next day that Velvet Revolver really did play around 5 in the morning, but we were in Philly by then. 5/15, Philadelphia, “Loud and Local” We played Tommy Conwell’s radio show on 94.1 FM. Playing the intro to “Massive” on the radio made me more nervous than I’ve ever been, but I didn’t mess up. It was a good end to the tour. Postscript… I’m at the train station and a cop just woke me up. It’s 2:30 a.m. The train to DC comes at 4:45. Guess I need some more coffee. I don’t go back to work until Tuesday, so I plan on sleeping through most of tomorrow. It will be nice to lay down in a bed for a change. – Photo courtesy of Jade Tree Records